Do you remember the last time you drove through thick fog?
Fog makes it really hard to see! Last week, I experienced some spiritual fogginess. I apologize that I waited so long to post; I attempted to write a few posts but unfortunately I was too distracted to put anything I wanted to say together well.
Let me give you a quick summary of everything that’s been happening in my life in the last week and a half:
- Isaac and I drove to Alabama on Friday after I got off work to pick up Branon.
- Branon and I received the blessing of a date evening Saturday, and had our first over-night away from Isaac together.
- We spent the day Sunday with our second family in Alabama before returning to Knoxville.
- Branon interviewed with True Purpose Ministries on Monday.
- A couple friends from church prayed with Branon and I Monday night in preparation of our new life chapter.
- We dropped Branon off to start the program on Tuesday.
- Wednesday, Isaac found out at his follow up doctor appointment that he still has some fluid in one ear, but not an infection.
- Isaac’s current child care provider informed me Thursday that she will not be able to work with my schedule, leading me to search for Isaac’s 6th child care provider.
- My parents scheduled family pictures for Saturday so we drove to Strawberry Plains for that. I can’t wait to see how they turned out!
- My growth group Saturday night talked about spiritual gifts; my small group leader gave us a 125 question spiritual gifts inventory, which I believe my church provided for the entire congregation last Sunday.
- Yesterday, Isaac and I visited Branon at his new location.
I tell you all of that to say that everything slightly overwhelms me at times, and the enemy preys on our vulnerability. I finally experienced some much needed closeness with my husband only to be torn apart again. It’s really been hard on both of us, making it absolutely imperative that I keep my focus on Jesus right now to help me see through the fog.
I love how Jesus illustrates this for us with the story of Peter walking on water in Matthew 14:
24-26 Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.
27 But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”
28 Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”
29-30 He said, “Come ahead.”
Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”
31 Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”
32-33 The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!”
When we keep our focus on Jesus, His power sustains us. The moment we shift our focus to our problems, we start to drown in the worry. Thankfully, he rescues us. After a difficult week, my Abba encouraged me this weekend with family pictures, my growth group, and my visit to Branon.
God blessed us with the opportunity to see each other every Sunday for church and visitation, and potentially every Wednesday evening as well, depending on my work. I placed that decision in God’s hands though. I would love for Branon to be a part of my life and especially Isaac’s an extra day a week, but God knows what is best for us and I want his will to be done, not mine.
True Purpose Ministries hold their own church services on campus. The church service Sunday displayed the faith of the leadership. I sense this is exactly where Branon needs to be right now. I believe he will get the mentoring he needs spiritually, and the healing he needs emotionally to be delivered from addiction.
I pray God gives us both humble and teachable spirits, willing to endure any trials necessary to be changed into his image. I want to be used by Him in the greatest capacity, but I have much to learn first.
I plan on posting later this week to summarize everything I’ve been learning recently in a pretty cool way. I admit though, part of my discouragement this week stems from losing sight from an eternal perspective. That sums up the effect of the fog: making it possible to see only a few feet in front of you. This world serves as my temporary home; my hope is not in it but in Jesus, who defeated the grave so that we can be fully alive in this world and the one to come.
This week, I choose to press through the fog. If you also are experiencing a hard time, I encourage you to do so as well. Jesus promises to provide the light we need.
John 8:12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
Plus, how can I remain discouraged when I have this cuteness around me every day?